“Dad, the physical world and the eternal one are much closer than you think. One is seen with the eyes and the other with the heart. Keep searching for God with your heart and one day soon you’ll see Him with your eyes. I’ll see you then”. Love – Braden
A few weeks ago we heard a speaker at our church (Hope Fellowship) say something that wasn’t entirely new to me, but for some reason this time I couldn’t shake it from my mind. Paraphrasing, the speaker said that when God’s children make mistakes, He can’t see them. Instead of our sin, he sees His Son. Again, this wasn’t a new concept for me, but it never really sank in before hearing it this time. How could a perfect God not see the blatantly selfish choices we make? For most of my life I thought He certainly had to see mine.
After church that Sunday, we made our way to lunch where we often talk about what stood out during the message. I began to think about times I’d been angry and how I’d handled it with my own kids. Just a few months earlier, in the late evening, three boys began loudly knocking on our front door and ringing the doorbell. They had to be around the age of 14, and all talking at once. They told us a strange man had jumped his fence and begun to chase and yell at them. They were terrified with no place to go and sought the safety of even a stranger’s home. Having been a boy all my life, my first thought was they were out much too late for riding bikes, and I suspected most likely they had done something to cause the man to become angry. Again, that was my first impression.
They began telling their story and we learned they’d abandoned one bike in the street with a flat tire. One boy was crying and was clearly scared and ashamed. As they sat down, Cathy listened, helping to calm them. I first stood watching this all with impatience and irritation as she talked to them. I then noticed her focus had turned to the one who was most emotional. This scene began to feel familiar for some reason. I had suddenly realized it reminded me of the many nights she had patiently spent with our son, Braden.
Looking beyond what would have normally been my instinct to judge these boys for their perceived foolishness, I saw the face of our son and it completely shifted my perspective. My initial annoyance had become compassion. Instead of judgement, oddly I found myself understanding and offering them something to drink, telling them everything would be ok. Later, I helped them recover their broken bike and contacted one of their dads who arrived to take them home. I felt like they had likely received their own consequences as a result of their choices. Perhaps that night I had received an unexpected lesson of my own… to look a little deeper and beyond the mistakes people can make. After all, I’ve made more than my share and benefited from undeserved grace.
Have you ever seen a stereogram? Search this term online and you’ll find thousands of examples. They’re computer-generated graphics which initially appear to be an impressionist painting with nothing but blurred colors with no specific subject. However, if you relax your vision and try to eliminate the distraction of the initial impression, you will slowly begin to see the intended image of the picture come into focus. The subject not only becomes crystal clear, but three-dimensional. This process requires just a little effort and practice. It can feel a bit frustrating at first but once successful, it becomes much easier. I’ve come to believe this is the way God created the world. Amazing things are often right in front of our face yet much of the time we’re oblivious to them.
Losing a child uniquely alters a parent’s perspective. When I look around, I can now see my son in the faces of other kids who are struggling with things I can’t see or feel, yet it’s all too real for them. Today’s world is much different than the one most of us lived in as teens. There are new distractions, falsehoods, and temptations we never faced. They need our help. More specifically, they need a little more of our understanding and grace.
Most of our children’s poor choices are just baby steps towards who they are trying to become. Like it or not, our kids are naturally inclined to become like us, so modeling forgiveness and grace while we have them is one of the most valuable things they’ll take when they leave.
Prayer for dads
Of all the blessings in life, I’m most thankful for a relationship with my heavenly Father who filters sins through the lens of grace, love, and complete sacrifice. I pray that we as imperfect fathers will strive to follow His example for those children He has entrusted to us.
“God Himself made the way so you can have new life through Christ Jesus. God gave us Christ to be our wisdom. Christ made us right with God and set us apart for God and made us holy. Christ bought us with His blood and made us free from our sins.” – Corinthians 1:30
“For God chose to save us through our Lord Jesus Christ, not to pour out his anger on us.” – 1 Thessalonians 5:9
Braden’s Voice 