“Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” – Jesus’ brother, James
The biblical book of James has become one of my favorites. Maybe it’s because he just “tells it like it is” even though it can feel uncomfortable. James was very practical and didn’t pull any punches. In his writing, the very first thing he tells his readers is to count ALL our trials as joy. Based on this advice, the last few months have certainly been some of my family’s most joyful. Having struggled for months between this world and the next, our brother, James Randall Speed left us last month. I just now realized Jesus and I both had brothers with the same name.
Sitting at his bedside, I had just finished jotting down a rough draft of words I’d say at my brother’s memorial service. Glancing at him, I knew he’d gone. The despair we’d seen in his face for so long had instantly been replaced by pure peace. This was the third time death had entered our life in recent years. Our son, Braden had been first. The second was my father, James Merlin. Now, death had now come to take my big brother. My hero. As I rose to kiss Randy’s head, I thanked him aloud for waiting so we could say a final goodbye. Then, I apologized for feeling strangely joyful in our parting. He would have understood, though. Such a strange joy in the midst of such deep loss could only be derived from the confidence that he was finally Home and that we’d say hello again soon enough. My precious brother had long been prepared for this final goodbye.
Several years ago, Randy let me interview him for a short biography on his life. At that point, his story had a happy ending after recovering from stage 4 esophageal cancer. Today, it’s important to tell the rest of his story which has a joyful beginning. My prayer today is that even one reader might find a message of hope and a helpful reminder about what is most valuable in our own life’s’ stories.
Eulogy of James Randall Speed
What to say about my big brother’s life? I first thought about sharing the countless stories and memories, crazy stunts, brother trips, near-death or incarceration experiences we swore to never tell anyone…. Maybe about his special ability to understand and work with horses? These would all be great, but doing justice to such things might take a week. Instead, I’ll share something far more important about Randy’s life.
I still remember as a little kid, sitting in the co-pilot’s seat beside Randy on many a takeoff, watching as he went meticulously through his preflight checklist:
Flaps…. Check
Fuel gauge …. Full
Prop…. (Revving engine) Check
If you could have snapped a selfie of me in that moment, sitting in front of that useless co-pilot yoke, my eyes were full of awe thinking, “That’s MY big brother. I could never do what he’s doing”. I was quietly amazed and trusting he’d done all the training and preparation to get that pile of metal into the air and safely to our destination.
Flash forward to November 2016. Randy had promoted to senior captain with American Airlines and he’d just flown home to Tennessee from his flight pad in Arlington, Texas following our surprise celebration for dad’s 80th birthday. Rand called me two days later with the terrible news that he’d just been diagnosed with cancer. Fully healthy otherwise, it was a complete shock for everyone. The doctors gave him just a few months to live. After I caught my breath, I asked Randy an uncomfortable question. “Brother, are you ready if you have to go?” He didn’t take a second to reply. “Absolutely!”
Within a few months, Randy and Pamela were done in Houston’s MD Anderson cancer center. After all the tests, they were sent home with no hope for a cure and I decided to surprise them in Texarkana before they crossed the Texas state line heading home to Tennessee. In their motorhome on that Walmart parking lot, I waited for his wife, Pamela to leave to get some groceries. Alone with him, I had to ask my brother the question again. “Randy. I have to know. Are you ready?” Same response. ”I have no doubt where I’m going. Dying isn’t my concern because I’m going to heaven. I’m just concerned about those I’m leaving here”.
God’s flight plan for Rand was delayed a bit as he was gifted several more years with us before final takeoff, but in the last few years his fuel level was running dangerously low. A week before his death, he called for a goodbye conversation. “Well, Mark I guess technically you’ll now be the oldest brother. I told him he’d served this role well and we had all been helped by his life. Then, that awkward question again. “I’ve asked, but have to just confirm that you’re still good. Are you prepared to leave and do you know where you’re going?” His reply was as confident as if he had triple-checked his takeoff procedures. “Mark, I know exactly where I’m going and I’ve never been more certain”.
Each and every time I asked that difficult yet most important question, my brother never once wavered. I felt kind of like that little brother again, in the co-pilot seat with that unused steering yoke. Watching in amazement as his big brother about to take flight, trusting that he’d prepared ahead of time. Randy was ready for his flight and knew precisely where he was going.
Today, we honor and celebrate the special soul named Randy Speed who has gone ahead. It’s appropriate and important to do so. However, I’m certain if he were here now he’d ask me to address a far more important thing. To encourage each one of us to answer that most important question in our own hearts. Are WE as ready as Randy? I always looked up to my brother. Could I ever accomplish what he’s done? Could I take something that seemed entirely unworthy of taking wing and make it soar like an eagle? No way. He didn’t either. But we BOTH know and trusted who can! His name is Jesus.
I mentioned that useless co-pilot’s yoke in Randy’s single engine plane. A plane’s yoke is basically like the steering wheel. Without it, the plane would veer or crash. The morning before delivering this eulogy, my Bible verse of the day just happened to be from the book of Matthew, where Jesus spoke from a hill side to a small group of people. He instructed them as follows:
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take MY YOKE and LEARN from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and the burden I give you is light.” – Matthew 11:28-30
To our big brother. We love you, Randy. Thanks for taking care of us. We’ll see you soon, but for now, happy trails until we meet again.
Braden’s Voice 