“Our Heavenly Father, holy is Your name. Your will be done on earth as it is in Heaven, but if it goes my way, I promise to do anything You ask.” – Braden’s dad

“When you feel no hope… no help, God is always with you. He gave you His Word.” – Braden

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Have you ever experienced something so real yet indescribable that you were hesitant to talk about it? Concerned that skeptics might assume it to be the result of a vivid imagination, embellishment, or lucky coincidence, should such stories be left untold? My men’s group at church is in a series titled, “Stepping Out of the Boat”, based on Peter’s experience walking on water in faith. I agree with the importance of stepping out of our comfort zones. Today, I’m willing to at least try. The potential gain in sharing this story is worth any risk.

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Our daughter, Caitlin graduated high school this past week. Eighteen years ago, around 3am on the morning before Christmas 2006, Cathy realized our unborn baby girl had completely stopped moving inside her. Cathy rushed to the hospital and once the sitter arrived, I trailed behind. Speeding down Grand Parkway well over 100mph while gripping the steering wheel, I pled aloud through fear and tears. “God, please, PLEASE just let our baby live. If You will, I promise to tell others about what You did… just please let her live!” Fortunately, the doctors detected a weak heartbeat. Within minutes, God delivered a tiny giant-sized miracle. Since that pre-dawn negotiation with God, I’ve kept my promise by sharing the story at every opportunity, including this one.

Now, eighteen years later, I’ve found myself offering similar proposals to God on three different occasions. Each was another offer of compromise on various freeways across Texas. Each fearful conversation came from a cotton-dry mouth, not knowing whether the destination would offer a miracle or tragedy.

The second drive occurred nearly 12 years later, following an intelligible call I received from my wife. She had arrived home and found our son’s note taped to his bedroom door warning her not to enter. The fear I felt on that freeway drive was palpable, yet my words were somehow familiar. Again I was praying aloud, this time for our son. “God, please, PLEASE just let our boy live. If You will, I promise to tell others about what You did… just please let him live!”. God didn’t deliver a miracle that October afternoon, but we’ve tried to encourage others about how God sustains through even the worst this life can offer. I’ll be brutally honest though: Lately, I’ve begun to feel slighted. Where is God and why hasn’t He come through… after all, that was the deal… wasn’t it?

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For almost three years now, Caitlin has battled a chronic health condition with a long list of symptoms including random fainting, severe headaches/migraines, and extreme and chronic nausea. After weeks of rapid weight loss, we resorted to hospitalization and a feeding tube while continuing to explore ways to help her. On the Monday morning of her admittance to Dallas Childrens Memorial Hospital, I found myself once again on a freeway traveling at breakneck speed, pleading aloud with God. By now, the words were like lyrics to a bad song I’d heard too many times. These deja vu moments were becoming a repeated nightmare. WHY?

Once more I cried out the same phrase, almost verbatim. “God, if You will let our baby live, I will tell others about You”. This time though, it wasn’t a one-way conversation. I heard not only my weak-hearted promise, but a distinct inaudible response. It wasn’t an answer, but a question: “What if my plans are different than yours? What will you do with me then?” During my previous drives, I had to hold the steering wheel tightly to keep from swerving off the road. This time, hearing God’s response was like grabbing a live wire. Could it be that my faith was conditioned upon getting my way instead of life according to God’s plans? And how had “my way” worked out thus far? Not so good.

The next part of this story is where a skeptic might question its validity. After God’s question to me that morning, He continued speaking through the following experiences. I’ll try to tell them here, but I can’t explain them other than they were literally God’s words. I had stopped speaking and finally began to listen.

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God’s Words

Before leaving our home earlier that morning, my daily Bible verse had been the following from the 23rd Psalm:

“Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; you anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows”.

These words had been timely, but I considered them a simple coincidence. Our family could certainly relate with the “death/valley” reference, but I never understood the strange reference to some kind of table in front of my enemies. I was hurrying and on the run to the hospital. That was just a daily feel-good scripture and there was no time to slowly take in what it was telling me.

I will admit to weakness in quoting the Bible and hope God understands this shortcoming. If He really needs to say something important, I’ve assumed He would let me know somehow. On my drive to the hospital that morning, nearing the halfway point, phrases from the Bible began coming visually into my mind. The following verse came into view as clear as a heads-up windshield display:

Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds.

Amazed at this perfectly timed yet unmemorized response from God’s Word, I yelled out loudly (and angrily), “Are You KIDDING ME? I’m supposed to be happy about this!!! That makes no sense whatsoever. I’ve trusted you and all we get is nothing in return. I’m just tired of this. How is joy even possible right now!!!!!??”

As those angry words left my mouth, the following text appeared in front of me, replacing the previous ones. However, these words were in bright red:

“Because I am with you THROUGH these valleys. Know that I have prepared a TABLE for you .“

Inexplicably, my terror became peace. My fury became gratefulness. How is such a thing even possible? As I neared the hospital, tears of joy, of all things began streaming down my face. When I met my family, I delivered to them the same hope and assurance God had just handed to me. They both looked at me like I might be crazy, but I also sensed relief and hope in their own eyes. When they asked about what had happened, my response was simple. “God spoke today and made it clear that we shouldn’t be afraid. We’re not going into these valleys, but THROUGH them. The Enemy is watching us the whole time, knowing God is more powerful than he is… and God is on our side. He also told me that He has already prepared us seats at His Table, so it doesn’t matter at all when we arrive. Our reservations are confirmed”.

Just two days later, I received yet another call. It came from a very special friend who had been visiting the girls while Caitlin was in recovery. The caller was the same friend who had delivered to me the tragic news about our son’s passing during my frantic freeway drive seven years earlier. She said the same words. “Mark…… I promised I wasn’t going to cry, but…”

Cathy’s ability to cope with everything had reached an end and her body had just shut down. Our friend informed me that my wife had been taken from Childrens Memorial to the ER at another hospital. Again, those same garbled words: “Get here as soon as possible”. Both of my remaining family members were now in crisis, but here’s the unbelievable part. On this drive, I remembered the words God had given me days earlier. Our conversation this time was different. It was two-way. As He counseled me with His Words, I was thanking Him for such trials as these. I know. Unbelievable. But true.

Thankfully, all came through that week safely, but I learned more in those few days than in all my years about how God can work in difficulty if we will shut up, slow down, and listen. We have a new sense of assurance and calm we never thought possible. That next morning, I rolled over and checked my daily scripture. This time, the words were again from the 23rd Psalm. Again, perfectly timed BUT these words were confirming peace after such trials:

“The Lord is my shepherd; I have all that I need. He lets me rest in green meadows; he leads me beside peaceful streams.”

Instead of shrugging it off as coincidence, I looked up and said aloud, “Are You kidding me?” I wasn’t yelling, though. Instead, I was smiling through tears and I am confident God was smiling back. Because, that’s the kind of God He is.

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Within days of this writing, our miracle baby girl walked across the stage, graduating along with her 2025 high school class. She remains determined and strong, but her fight continues and parental stress remains a very real thing. However, we are encouraged and praying the reader will be. We’ve recently learned of others around us who are facing their own unexpected valleys. Our family is praying for their physical healing, yet more importantly that they will trust in God’s plans which are perfect. The peace and assurance He promises never fails. After all, He gave us His Word.

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Prayer: Heavenly Father, thank You for Your patience with our impatience, understanding in our confusion, and that You give us Your Word. Though difficult to face, thank You for trials. They serve to test and strengthen our faith. Mostly, thank You that even in the presence of our Enemy, You have reserved for us a seat at Your Table. Amen

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“So we don’t look at the troubles we can see now; rather, we fix our gaze on things that cannot be seen. For the things we see now will soon be gone, but the things we cannot see will last forever.”
‭‭2 Corinthians‬ ‭4‬:‭18

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