Gods and Idols

“Choose your worship wisely for there is only One worthy.” – Paul (paraphrase)



This has proven to be the most difficult writing since we lost our son, now seven years ago. Still, remaining true to the purpose of this undertaking, truth and transparency are vitally important to others still hurting and searching for answers. Through our loss, we remain convinced the only true God, discussed here can provide lasting fulfillment and healing.

I began the following post early last Sunday and later that morning, the preacher spoke on a similar topic. When the apostle, Paul first entered Athens to share his testimony, he noticed the streets were lined with sculptures of gods and idols. Ironically, those statues had been built by the people he was there to tell about his God. The one who had radically changed his own life.

Just two days after I had begun writing this post, our church shared devastating news involving the pastor, whom we love and call our friend. This message had suddenly become less coincidence than providence. Although the news at church was shocking, extremely painful, and damaging, it has become much too familiar. Specific details, however are not what is needed today. The story is far less important than its moral.

Grief is a palette of emotions. Ours is currently a blend of sadness and anger. Tomorrow, I’m sure will be mixed with something else. Hopefully, a little more compassion. In the days ahead, our family’s prayer is that today’s sadness will eventually be shaded by forgiveness.




Let’s face it, although many people deny the existence of God, we’re all worshippers.

The Bible tells the ancient story of a community of foolish Israelites who were lost for 40 years wondering in the wilderness. We’ve read about their repeated habit of creating man-made idols whenever they yearned for something to fulfill their needs. As their respected leader, many of those people probably idolized Moses. They became anxious when he left them even briefly. With neither Moses nor God visible, their faith also vanished.

Desperately needing something to fill their emptiness, they destroyed their blessings and formed them into what I call “little ‘g’ gods”. They chose to believe those man-made objects could somehow provide what they were missing. Ironically, such idols are as empty as the people who built them. Being impatient, selfish, and short-sighted, those Israelites were unwilling to simply trust, listen, and wait for God’s timing. Wow, that sounds too familiar.

Most readers of this famous story consider those Israelites idiots because God was clearly showing them signs of His presence and power throughout their journey. I can imagine God saying, “Hey, I just parted the ocean, isn’t that enough proof? How about this pillar of clouds to lead you, or the food delivered daily, dropped straight from the sky?” I once pridefully thought I would have been different but the sad truth is, without seeing God face-to-face, I would have been an idol-builder just like them. Heck, I probably would have been a sculptor.

What amazes me though, is even knowing how weak and selfish we are, God always remains ready and willing to forgive. That’s the “amazing grace” we sing about. He simply seeks an unconditional trust relationship without small print exclusions or exceptions. This intimate relationship is the only “worship” He seeks and which simultaneously fills our human longing. Those Israelites could never put such a God on a pedestal or inside a box. He’s too big. This God is The Creator, The Counselor, and The Savior, clearly evident yet only seen when we stop building or buying worthless idols.

When Paul had a personal experience with this God, it turned his life downside – up. He had been killing believers, yet in an instant, he became willing to die to save them. I’m certainly no apostle, but we do share some common ground. Each day of this life will be used to build up the “big ‘G’ God” I met seven years ago. He’s the One who doesn’t lead me to destroy my blessings but rather to count them… among those are my family. More lasting however is grace, hope, wisdom, love, peace, assurance, forgiveness, and eternal life.

In retrospect, when Paul noticed all those idols on the streets of Athens, might he have blindly looked past the one reflected in the storefront windows of himself? Yes, his legacy was world-changing, but he was just a man, passionately telling others about what God had done in his life. Over my years of company relocations and church shopping, I’ve come to learn we should never choose any human as our idol. More likely than not, most are good hearted and well intentioned. However, they all have one thing in common. They aren’t God.

Reader: You may have been distracted or even damaged by some idols you’ve chosen. If you feel empty and in need of a god worthy of worship, I can personally recommend the One who saved my life.



Prayer: Heavenly Father, thank You for patience in our foolish ways. We worship the wrong gods which are all around us and yet You wait patiently for each one of us. We and thousands of others are praying for those harmed by recent events. Instead of reflecting ourselves, may we show others the image of God that Jesus showed to us. It’s in His name we pray. Amen



‭‭“You must not have any other god but me.” Exodus‬ ‭20‬:‭3‬ ‭‬‬

Choosing Joy, Today

Today, we remember our son’s birthday 24 years ago. Days like this come with mixed emotions. Happy. Sorrowful. Joyful? Each morning I take some time to read and to pray, connecting with God and often talking in spirit with our son. A few years ago, my wife Cathy bought a decorative hanging which she placed on the wall in our bedroom. Until recently, I had walked right past it without noticing its message. It simply reads, “I Choose Joy”. Behind these three boldly printed words, a lighter shaded word is less visible… “Today“.


Every day we make hundreds of decisions, many without a conscious thought. When life becomes difficult, our emotional reactions typically include fear, anger, sadness, doubt, or protective pride. Unless we’re aware of this human-thinking process, these will remain our default choices.

God made the human brain unique by giving it free will and even the ability to think about how we think. No other created thing has this incredible ability, yet most of us fail to put it to good use. Instead, we repeat the unhealthy pattern of repeating negative thoughts over and over again. Those who have accepted Christ have a far better choice. We can choose to draw from our faith and to find hope in the midst of life’s most difficult circumstances.

In life and in my work, I’ve observed thousands of people dealing with loss, but not all of them handle it the same way. Many fall apart or become lost while a few seemed to come away even stronger. Those few, in my observations have seemed somehow MORE joyful. How is that even possible? I believe the difference is because they didn’t choose to pick up a crutch or take the exit door. Instead they chose to lean deeply into their reliance and faith in God’s promises. They chose to reframe life’s difficulties into faith-growing opportunities. You see, happiness and joy may have some similarities, but they’re vastly different.

Happiness is momentary and subject to ever-changing circumstances. Joy is constant. It resides firmly inside us like a solar battery, storing light for the inevitable times when the world seems darkest. Lasting joy comes from hope which lies in the things unseen by human eyes yet are eternal. God’s word tells us to “renew our minds” to think from His eternal perspective. Our lives are relatively brief, but heaven is our permanent home where no pain, no tears, and no death are even possible. Now, that’s real hope and real joy, but we have to choose it, every day.

PRAYER: Lord, as your children, let us not drift blindly through life by falling into default emotions of life here on earth. Today’s temporary grief, fears, anger, doubts, unforgiveness, and regrets are Satan’s intentional distractions because these emotions bring death and destruction rather than abundant life. Understanding our time here is precious and fleeting, may we learn to surrender to You by continuously CHOOSING to live in the joy You freely offer. Amen‬‬

“The Lord is my strength and shield. I trust him with all my heart. He helps me, and my heart is filled with joy. I burst out in songs of thanksgiving.”
‭‭Psalms‬ ‭28‬:‭7‬ ‭

Always be full of joy in the Lord. I say it again—rejoice! Let everyone see that you are considerate in all you do. Remember, the Lord is coming soon.
‭‭Philippians‬ ‭4‬:‭4‬-‭5‬ ‭

Puzzled

Missing pieces

“When people ask what they can do in despair, tell them to trust in Christ alone. That’s the missing piece all people need but too many fail to seek or to accept”. Braden

“Thanks for this reminder, son. I too often find myself frustrated by trying to force pieces together that look right but which don’t fit.” Braden’s Dad


The holiday season is behind us and let’s face it, there is some solace in returning to routine. After all, lax time around the season can get boring. Our kids annually put up a puzzle table to work while waiting for the “eventful” moments like opening gifts or a get together with friends. We don’t rush the project as it’s just a way to relax, talk, and laugh as we work to put the pieces in place.

This year, we worked on a pretty intricate puzzle. Honestly, it was my first time to participate as I tend to be impatient and give up after looking for the matching parts and failing for ten minutes or so. However, this year, I decided to play along and was somewhat encouraged and proud to say I found some success. Not to brag, but I got most of Santa Claus’ beard and bag done on my own.

As we neared completion, it began to look like we would finish before Christmas Day. The pace picked up as we could see the picture coming into full focus. We were only about ten pieces away from solving the puzzle when it became obvious some pieces were missing. Apparently, the dogs wanted to play along too and had gotten hold of three puzzle pieces, chewing them beyond recognition.

Here was this perfect picture and one we’d all worked with hopes of completing fully, but now it was futile. I mean, you can’t order one replacement part for a 2,000 piece puzzle so we were left a little discouraged. All our effort to complete the project and to make it suitable for framing fell short in the end. Oh, well. Maybe next year.


Since we began a not-for-profit ministry called “Braden’s Voice.org” there have been numerous opportunities to present to schools, churches, and youth groups. Most recently, I found myself in front of the congregation of the Prosper United Methodist Church. A ministry advocating for teen relationship-building and suicide awareness had never been on my radar. It certainly didn’t fit the puzzle of what my life would look like when I started.

Prior to that church presentation, Cathy and I were invited to speak with two church youth groups who gathered to discuss teen depression, culture, and relationships. The discussion was an open forum where we presented our story and the kids were asked to present honest questions.

It was going along great. We shared about life prior to the teen years and how changes presented challenges in the middle and high school years. How Braden found himself outside social circles looking in through a computer or phone screen. We talked about the false front social media puts on the world and how important it is to not fall for that façade.

The participation and engagement was outstanding. Several of the youth were outspoken as to their desire to make a difference in their culture and among their peers. I thought, “Wow. This is going well”. Then, we got a question that stumped me. It was from a teenage girl.

“Mr. Speed. All this talk about helping the Braden’s of the world is great. What can you tell us to do when we fall into despair, loneliness, or depression? What do we tell a friend who wants to hurt themselves and sees no hope in their world? What can you tell us about that?

… I have to admit I lost some breath at the bold question. This young lady was dead serious in her questions and desperately needing a real and practical answer. My response was knee jerk and I still regret how shallow it came out. “Talk with your minister, your parents, or a counselor”.

I still can see the look of disappointment in this child’s eyes when she heard the standard answer to such a heavy question until then, unasked. However, it was the most important question all night. I didn’t give her what she needed. After all, we had dealt with that very dilemma and as his parents, along with the capable help of counselors and ministers, we still couldn’t save him.

Through the following weeks after the youth group meeting, I prayed and sought wisdom on this most-important question. After a process of elimination of what DOES NOT work, I’m left with one solitary and crystal clear answer to the missing puzzle piece of a meaningful and valued life… simply this: Jesus Christ.

As I mentioned, we had a subsequent invitation to the Methodist Church several weeks after the youth group discussion. That week’s Advent candle was about Joy.

I knew the missing piece had to be identified and the answer had to be ready if and when the question was asked. The answer couldn’t be a traditional response: to get with the counselor or a parent. Although both are important, they are not the missing piece this and other teens need to identify.

So when Sunday at United Methodist came and I was again in front of now a full size church congregation, the pastor finally asked me the puzzling question: “Mark, our church has a number of teens today who you have an opportunity to speak into, following your family’s loss. What do you have to say to them?”

This time, my answer was better

“I know you are struggling right now. Some of you may even be thinking you don’t want to stay the course of your natural life. You may wish to leave early. I understand that and you need to know there is a better way. After living through this as a father, I’ve come to one conclusion, and that is to place your identity in no one nor in anything of this world”.

I went on. “I talk about going to your counselor or to your parent. Well, let me rephrase. Go to The Counselor who is your Heavenly Father and place your faith in a personal relationship with Him alone. We’ve proven the world is full of really cool stuff and millions of distractions. These things can bring about temporary happiness. However, there is a huge difference between happiness and joy.

Happiness is fleeting. It frequently comes but it always goes. Joy in knowing and having a true relationship with our Father in Heaven is ever-lasting even through the sadness and gloom of this world. Jesus didn’t come here to judge you but rather to let you know you are loved beyond any of your shortcomings. So be joy-filled in knowing and trusting this one eternal truth. And Live a life of JOY in HIM”.

Weeks earlier, I had been speechless and without a worthy answer to that young lady’s heartfelt question. This time, though I had sought His guidance and counsel. I was finally relieved to find the one and only missing piece needed to complete the puzzle: Seek Joy in Him.


Readers

We spend far too much of our time putting effort into building a perfect image of what we think life should look like. We buy things or plan events, trips, etc. because we long for happiness. Yet, time and experience confirms happiness from things, desires, and even in people are passing things. Every single thing other than the love of Christ will pass away or break down. If you’re missing the puzzle piece of real and lasting joy, you can find it by simply asking Him.

Prayer

Heavenly Father and perfect Counselor, we accept your promise that if we ask, you will hear our plea. We do that now by seeking a personal and intimate relationship with you, our Creator and Savior. We pray against the temptation to be happiness seekers and instead to find joy in knowing You.

In your Son Jesus’ name we pray, Amen


2 Corinthians 4:18 So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.


Turn your eyes upon Jesus.

Look full in his wonderful face.

And the things of earth will grow strangely dim,

In the light of His glory and grace.