Tag: jesus

Gods and Idols

Mark Speed2 Comments

“Choose your worship wisely for there is only One worthy.” – Paul (paraphrase)

This has proven to be the most difficult writing since we lost our son, now seven years ago. Still, remaining true to the purpose of this undertaking, truth and transparency are vitally important to others still hurting and searching for answers. Through our loss, we remain convinced the only true God, discussed here can provide lasting fulfillment and healing.

I began the following post early last Sunday and later that morning, the preacher spoke on a similar topic. When the apostle, Paul first entered Athens to share his testimony, he noticed the streets were lined with sculptures of gods and idols. Ironically, those statues had been built by the people he was there to tell about his God. The one who had radically changed his own life.

Just two days after I had begun writing this post, our church shared devastating news involving the pastor, whom we love and call our friend. This message had suddenly become less coincidence than providence. Although the news at church was shocking, extremely painful, and damaging, it has become much too familiar. Specific details, however are not what is needed today. The story is far less important than its moral.

Grief is a palette of emotions. Ours is currently a blend of sadness and anger. Tomorrow, I’m sure will be mixed with something else. Hopefully, a little more compassion. In the days ahead, our family’s prayer is that today’s sadness will eventually be shaded by forgiveness.

Let’s face it, although many people deny the existence of God, we’re all worshippers.

The Bible tells the ancient story of a community of foolish Israelites who were lost for 40 years wondering in the wilderness. We’ve read about their repeated habit of creating man-made idols whenever they yearned for something to fulfill their needs. As their respected leader, many of those people probably idolized Moses. They became anxious when he left them even briefly. With neither Moses nor God visible, their faith also vanished.

Desperately needing something to fill their emptiness, they destroyed their blessings and formed them into what I call “little ‘g’ gods”. They chose to believe those man-made objects could somehow provide what they were missing. Ironically, such idols are as empty as the people who built them. Being impatient, selfish, and short-sighted, those Israelites were unwilling to simply trust, listen, and wait for God’s timing. Wow, that sounds too familiar.

Most readers of this famous story consider those Israelites idiots because God was clearly showing them signs of His presence and power throughout their journey. I can imagine God saying, “Hey, I just parted the ocean, isn’t that enough proof? How about this pillar of clouds to lead you, or the food delivered daily, dropped straight from the sky?” I once pridefully thought I would have been different but the sad truth is, without seeing God face-to-face, I would have been an idol-builder just like them. Heck, I probably would have been a sculptor.

What amazes me though, is even knowing how weak and selfish we are, God always remains ready and willing to forgive. That’s the “amazing grace” we sing about. He simply seeks an unconditional trust relationship without small print exclusions or exceptions. This intimate relationship is the only “worship” He seeks and which simultaneously fills our human longing. Those Israelites could never put such a God on a pedestal or inside a box. He’s too big. This God is The Creator, The Counselor, and The Savior, clearly evident yet only seen when we stop building or buying worthless idols.

When Paul had a personal experience with this God, it turned his life downside – up. He had been killing believers, yet in an instant, he became willing to die to save them. I’m certainly no apostle, but we do share some common ground. Each day of this life will be used to build up the “big ‘G’ God” I met seven years ago. He’s the One who doesn’t lead me to destroy my blessings but rather to count them… among those are my family. More lasting however is grace, hope, wisdom, love, peace, assurance, forgiveness, and eternal life.

In retrospect, when Paul noticed all those idols on the streets of Athens, might he have blindly looked past the one reflected in the storefront windows of himself? Yes, his legacy was world-changing, but he was just a man, passionately telling others about what God had done in his life. Over my years of company relocations and church shopping, I’ve come to learn we should never choose any human as our idol. More likely than not, most are good hearted and well intentioned. However, they all have one thing in common. They aren’t God.

Reader: You may have been distracted or even damaged by some idols you’ve chosen. If you feel empty and in need of a god worthy of worship, I can personally recommend the One who saved my life.

Prayer: Heavenly Father, thank You for patience in our foolish ways. We worship the wrong gods which are all around us and yet You wait patiently for each one of us. We and thousands of others are praying for those harmed by recent events. Instead of reflecting ourselves, may we show others the image of God that Jesus showed to us. It’s in His name we pray. Amen


‭‭“You must not have any other god but me.” Exodus‬ ‭20‬:‭3‬ ‭‬‬

Unstuck

Mark Speed5 Comments

“Pop, I’m so glad you finally accepted the invitation… Welcome HOME!” – Braden

“I’m going to be in heaven with you!” – Braden’s Pop

Reader: There have been occasions when I’ve wanted to share about our dad’s life, but I respected his wishes for privacy. Now that he’s gone, perhaps the time is right. I’ve tried to condense these words while not diminishing their value. I’ve done my best and that’s all my father ever asked.

Before our childhood home vanished from time and decay, it stood in a cotton field on the South Plains of Texas. Our family recently gathered near that home last week to say goodbye to our dad, Merlin Speed. On August 27, 2025, their wedding anniversary reunion became a celebration of 70 years of marriage, a sad goodbye, and a tribute to our father’s life.

We will all likely occupy multiple houses over a lifetime, but to most people, “home” is considered that of our childhood. Those formative years serve as a lens on our worldview and can serve as a helpful source to later draw upon if our home was healthy. However, too often the lens is distorted by trauma, dysfunction, or abandonment. That was the case with my dad.

Dad began life in a converted chicken pen with no electric power and no plumbing. Their family moved within a few years, but the address changed more frequently than the calendar. He certainly wasn’t blessed with the kind of childhood home he would dedicate his life to providing. Although our home wasn’t fancy, I felt blessed. In dad’s passing, we aren’t as mournful as we are thankful.

The past few days have been full of remembrances. Memory Lane is so congested with stories, it’s difficult to enumerate them much less do justice in their telling. One sticks in my mind that now seems timely to share.

Farm kids learn best by watching and doing. We did a lot of both. After every rain storm, the routine was to jump in dad’s truck to go “check the farms”. It was less a matter of looking at the rain soaked fields than feeling a sense of hope for a successful harvest. On these crop tours, dad often considered it necessary to leave the pavement and venture down ungraded county roads or directly into the muddy cotton fields. Both options met with impassable paths only suitable for tractors or road-maintainers. Such roads were certainly not made for a Ford F150 pickup truck.

I watched in fear as his steering wheel would begin turning from a reasonably navigable road into a treacherous mud field. We all were thinking but never saying, “Why?” With few exceptions, we would become stuck to the bumpers with the tires spinning futilely in the red mud. Then, we’d watch in awe as dad gunned the engine forward and reverse, holding his mouth just right, occasionally using some choice words, and finally gaining traction. First it would move inches, then a few feet, and finally we’d be unstuck, able to continue the tour.

His truck never once became so buried that dad couldn’t clear it with sheer determination, effort, and inventiveness. He never recruited nor accepted help. Watching him do this enough times, I learned the unstuck skill and even recall my own son’s amazed admiration when I freed us from a mud slick while shooting guns on the outskirts of Prosper. A street sign now marks that spot at the intersection of Braden Lane and Legacy Boulevard.

I always respected dad for his abilities to “fix” broken things and his resilience in overcoming his childhood experiences. However, success in overcoming extreme hardship can have a devastating side effect called self-reliance. Much of his life, he leaned entirely on his own strength, abilities, and knowledge. At least he thought so. Fortunately, many friends, neighbors, and family saw hope and potential in our dad. Along with our faith-filled mother, an unknown number of others refused to leave him stuck. While he was spinning, they were praying.

For years, my own prayer was that God would speak to dad in words only he could understand. We’d all encouraged his acceptance of Jesus’ invitations, but pride is a thief and it stole a lot of his life. On October 22, 2023,, I received an unexpected but overdue call. I can’t recall the exact time but will never forget dad’s words. “Son, I woke up this morning and heard a message I can’t even explain. The words weren’t new, but their meaning was clearer than ever. It was like someone speaking directly to me”. Through his tears my dad rarely revealed, I heard him say, “Son, I’m going to be in heaven with you!”

The conviction in his testimony was certain and I’m fully convinced my father had finally been freed. He spoke of only one regret in having remained “stuck” so long in his pride. It had taken our father all his life to finally become unstuck, but he didn’t do it by effort. He had surrendered. Many had extended a hand to pull or push him through, but ironically, it was in giving up that finally moved him forward.

Our father’s view had finally become cleared from the distorted lens he’d worn so long and he was finally able to see Jesus. I’d give anything to have been there to witness their meeting, but I’m joyful in knowing our son watched it. In awe, I can imagine him reunited with his Pop who had finally become unstuck.

Pop and Braden

Reader: If this story rings familiar, we pray Jesus’ standing invitation is one you’ll consider accepting. Our dad’s story is testament to the fact that it’s never too late. A relationship is all He seeks and it’s completely free. Praying for those stuck today.

Alone Together

Mark Speed1 Comment
Hope Walk

“Our Father created us for relationship. Help people understand how vital they are to God and to one another.” – Braden

The Mom-Daughter getaway wasn’t on our family calendar because Caitlin had planned it as a birthday surprise a few weeks ago. These involve the standard girl activities with spa treatments, dinner, a chick-flick binge on Netflix, and overnight at a local hotel. Cait’s been excited, but I admit feeling some guilty pleasure upon hearing it was happening this weekend. After a busy few weeks at work, it would be good to have some peace and quiet. In moderation, I think being alone can be a healthy thing. For me, it might be the rare chance to do some mindless movie binging of my own, watching shows my girls don’t care to see.

Speaking of binge TV watching, my brother put me onto a series called “Alone” where contestants are flown into Alaska or some other remote location where they’re left to live alone with no one to help them. The show awards the winner a huge money prize for out-surviving the others. The producers only provide the most basic starter supplies and then leave the person in complete isolation. Each contestant is required to film and self-document their stay which can last a few weeks or several months. At any point, they can opt out by calling it quits which means they leave the show with nothing, but can return to civilization. The filmed vignettes are later compiled and edited to entice the viewer. If “bingable” is a word, this show fits the definition. It can be difficult to watch yet almost impossible not to watch.

Each person applies their own approach to surviving the harsh elements and without exception all begin their challenge with great confidence they, alone will outlast the others by relying solely upon their own abilities, strength, experience level, and intellect. Each person’s journey is certainly interesting, but one story stood out to me.

It was a father whose son was autistic. As this father’s personal story developed, I kept putting myself in his boots. We learn that his goal from the outset wasn’t to gain glory by winning the contest, but rather to get the funds needed to best help his child. As the weeks become months, the man outperforms the others and sustains very well physically. Then he begins to grasp what he’d been missing all along. Even more than money, his son needed his father. In the end, he finally learns that their relationship was far more valuable than money or anything else. Although it wasn’t shown, when the son saw his father finally arriving home, I can only imagine their reunion.

Recently, our local school held a district-wide event called the “Hope Walk”. Students from every school from elementary through high school joined together for a rally around a program called Hope Squad. No matter where you may live, if you parent a school student, work in a school, or have concern about school culture but haven’t heard about Hope Squad, you should. This is a uniquely impactful peer-to-peer program. It came to our district through the efforts of parents of children who we’ve lost and by the willingness of district leaders who are determined to proactively help stem the growing crisis of mental health in our youth.

When I woke that Saturday before the Hope Walk event, Caitlin was sick so Cathy had to stay home. I hesitated to go but something told me it was important. Honestly, I didn’t look forward to seeing the bright eyed and thriving teens. I tend to superimpose Braden’s face on theirs which brings a too familiar sting. Still, somehow I owed it to our son to be there in support of such a good thing. When I saw those teens that day, it was through different eyes. This time, they weren’t crying from grief, but with joy and sincere gratitude to God for delivering on His promise.

When I arrived at the football stadium that morning, I had been prepared to walk alone, but during the opening presentation, I noticed a neighbor standing nearby who was attending along with their two young kids. Later, I learned one had been elected to the Hope Squad in his school. Years prior, this family had accepted our invitation to walk with us for a similar community event and this time, they invited me to walk with theirs. It was amazing to see the turn out that morning but especially confirming to observe and to hear stories about how this program continues to benefit other kids. I think Braden may have actually been walking alongside me that morning, but if he was too busy in heaven, I am certain he would approve!

Learning about Relationship: We’ve learned a few very important lessons along our walk through this journey. Maybe these can be put to good use as parents and as people. Here are just a few of the big ones:

1) We ALL feel alone at times which is a normal part of being human. Being alone can be healthy, but isolation over time begins to rob us of what God intends. We can lose our way without others to walk with and to help us navigate life.

2) A healthy balance is important but finding, forming, and maintaining relationships with others (even just one) is a crucial piece in the puzzle of what is impacting today’s mental health crisis.

3) Since relationship is key, there is no suitable substitute for a personal and intimate relationship with God through His son, Jesus Christ. He visited this world purposefully modeling the importance of relationship and by inviting us to know Him. He promised that if, instead of trying life alone, we choose to follow Him, we’ll find the only way to real and lasting truth. Most importantly, He will provide all the nourishment we need to have an abundant life.

“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” John 13:34-35

“A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity.” Proverbs 17:17

About Our Anchor

Mark Speed2 Comments

“Dad, I know it’s hard to keep the hope, but you’ll find more of your own if you give just a little to someone else”. – Braden

“In order to realize the worth of the anchor, we need to feel the stress of the storm.” – Corrie Ten Boom

“Cathy, why did you give me a necklace?” – Braden’s dad

“God Winks”. That’s what some people call them. Maybe it’s because such moments are too perfectly timed. Like a quick glimpse of our Creator, it’s like He’s grinning, “See? I told you”. These subtle winks are often delivered when least expected, but they’re always confirming to our faith. They seem to happen more frequently lately and we hang onto each one, knowing they’ll be needed as an anchor of certainty when the storms of doubt arise. Several weeks ago was just another example of such a “wink” as a brewing storm approached for our family. Another perfectly timed reminder that God doesn’t forget about our storms and will always remain steady if we will just choose to trust and take hold of Him.

It was early October as we neared yet one more annual date of remembrance. The dreaded day before Halloween which is an anniversary we’d prefer to forget. On such occasions, our family doesn’t talk much about it, but we all quietly plan ahead by taking time out of our routine just to be together and to recall the good memories. The lighter side of what Braden brought into our world. Still, we know the day will arrive with pain, quiet tears, and the ever-present “What if’s” that come when we lose someone who left by their own choice. By now, one might expect such dates would finally have dissolved into just another day, but that may likely never happen. I suppose it should not.

“BradensVoice” hadn’t been invited to speak in a few months and although support for our homegrown non-profit remained strong, the voice had been silent. Then, just days before the approaching anniversary, I received two separate messages out of thin air from complete strangers. The first was from a youth leader of a local church. One of its members had attended a BradensVoice talk we’d held for their kids a few years earlier. A new crop of teens needed to hear some truths from someone with experience on a subject about which we have come to know too well. When I asked what date their Youth Night was held, you might guess… it was on Wednesday night, October 30th. The youth minister hadn’t known this and preferred to move our visit to another week. After talking it over though, we all agreed there could be no better way to honor our boy. When better could we talk openly to young people about the value of their lives, the terrible long-term impact of such an impetuous decision, and most importantly the certain anchor upon which they could always rely.

Cathy and I went together and I’m proud of her for taking this step. To say the least, neither of us will forget that night. After our talk, over 50-75 kids, parents, and teachers poured onto the stage to pray over us. It was the most amazing experience to feel each of their hearts reaching into ours. Words really can’t convey our emotions and gratefulness for this invitation particularly on that day. Each hand placed on our shoulders on that cold and dark October night were confirming this had been the perfect timing. I think Braden must have personally asked God to send his family something we didn’t know was needed. Help and hope. Only a loving and understanding God could know best how and when to deliver such an invitation.

The second contact was from a woman who had tragically lost her own brother. She was the 2024 chairperson for a local event held annually by a national foundation for awareness. The fundraiser walk also brings together hundreds of people each year who support and encourage each other. Within days following our loss, this same event had been my first opportunity to meet others who shared common ground. Ironically, that first walk was held on the morning of Braden’s memorial service. This year, we weren’t sure if we would be going, but this stranger had invited BradensVoice to speak. My answer was as always, “No way…Absolutely”.

This second audience wasn’t at all like the first. Instead of a group of hungering curious church kids, this would be a diverse mix of ages, cultures, backgrounds, faith, and many people who never heard about Jesus or might be angered by the mention of his name. For this reason, I was asked to keep the presentation as secular as possible. My first response to this restriction wasn’t good. After all, faith has been our ONLY reliable source of peace, purpose, and healing. A personal relationship with God was the only real answer this crowd needed, so how could I have an opportunity to share yet keep it to myself? After the initial reaction, I cooled off and decided to pray about whether to go or not. I pictured Braden standing next to Jesus when I sensed the answer: “If you refuse to reflect me, then who will?” Without thinking further, I said aloud, “Ok, guys”.

As I went over the notes early the following morning, I just kept hearing those words, “Reflect Me”. Getting dressed to leave for the event, I noticed something next to the sink in our dressing room. Cathy had bought each of us a silver necklace with an anchor attached to the chain. Not being a person who wears jewelry, I’d kept mine on the counter for years. Suddenly, I knew the purpose of this gift. “Why don’t you just wear this so it can be seen?”

The “speech” that morning was themed around the Titanic tragedy and why a sunken ship is still remembered more than 100 years later. It was about a beautiful creation, branded as “Unsinkable”. Even though people made every effort and spared no expense to ensure it wouldn’t sink, it did. I recalled stories of passengers who had been fortunate to grab a seat on a lifeboat but desperately rowed away to avoid being pulled down by the vacuum caused by the sunken ship. I talked about the few courageous survivors who chose instead to stay even though it involved risk, to help others still drowning.

Although, I felt the message was hopeful to a crowd of survivors, I’m confident it was quickly forgotten by most. Still, I didn’t get to share what I had wanted to say and what I believe someone desperately needed to hear. Sadly, I had to keep those words to myself. However, one thing I hadn’t kept hidden that morning was there for all to see, it was hanging right near my heart. The story I really wanted to tell and the reflection I hope others observed that day wasn’t as much about sunken ships as it was about our anchor.

Our daughter is not yet ready to attend such talks although I sense that she may someday have a story to tell all her own. When I got home that afternoon, she asked if I told people about Jesus. My answer was that I just showed up but He did all the talking. If you were there that Saturday and wondered about my brief mention of our family’s anchor, it was not the one I wore around my neck. I invited you to reach out so we could share more and our prayer today is that you will do so. We too are survivors but we aren’t paddling away. Although we can’t save anyone, we can certainly tell you Who saved us.

Prayer: Heavenly Father, You are the only true and certain anchor in the storms. Thank you for always being there when our world fails, which it certainly will. Thank you for coming into this world in human form so we humans could stand a better chance of understanding and knowing You. Our prayer is that someone who is drowning today will just take hold of Your hand. Amen

All We Have to Give

Mark Speed4 Comments
Lee and Sherry Sims

My friend wasn’t a millionaire but I always perceived him to be wealthy. He was fortunate to find a frugal help mate and blessed that she accepted his marriage proposal. Throughout their life together, Sherry worked to keep his spending in check, but he considered money as a tool primarily to be used for enjoyment of life and to help others in need. I could take a lesson from my friend. Ultimately, he gave others everything. Maybe that’s why I considered him to be rich.

I first met Lee in 1996. His friendship was just one part of a package deal. Before I met Cathy, she had a group of very close friends in the Kingwood, Texas area. They had been more like family to her and after we married, they would become the same to me. I found this group to be refreshingly strange. Something I’d never experienced. They were deeply connected (even the husbands) and equally committed to being there for one another, no matter the circumstances nor distance. They were fully transparent about life’s struggles yet unconditional, respectful, and supportive of each other. Very rare. I found it novel that when they gathered for a party or other occasion, instead of drinking, they prayed together. I came to soon realize how I far preferred their variety of parties to those I’d experienced in the past.

The most unusual thing I experienced with them was a shared sense of real faith and clear purpose… to reflect Jesus to others. They have certainly been a reflection on my own life. All to say, Cathy’s “family” was a package deal and an unexpected gift. That’s how I met my friend, Lee.

Over the years of career moves, we often lived on opposite sides of the state. Lee and I were both too busy providing for our families to connect as much as we later came to regret. Still, I knew Lee treasured his family more than anything in life. He kept his priorities of faith, family, and friends so tightly bound together, they were impossible to separate. Recently, he and Sherry had moved into a newly built home and they were blessed to spend time together with their whole family on a trip to Europe (compliments of Sherry’s brilliant way of managing things). That trip was only weeks before he left on a different trip. We recently saw Lee for the last time at his church where we joined with others to say our temporary goodbyes.

Before leaving us, Lee gave everything he had. Ultimately, he even gave his life while on a mission to help the Georgia hurricane victims. Following a planning meeting with several community and church leaders, he had been eager to finally catch a plane home. He excitedly called Sherry to update her about what God was doing and the plans he saw unfolding to build temporary housing for those left homeless. He told her that he would never say no when God needed him to do anything. He was determined to hear the words, “you have done well” by his Heavenly Father.

Before he reached the airport, a service truck also providing help for the hurricane relief, suddenly crashed into his rental car. Lee never reached the airport that afternoon and sadly, he wasn’t able to return to their beautiful new home. My friend had taken an unexpected detour to a far more beautiful Home.

In service to others, my friend had left behind a wife and two beautiful children, Ashley and Stephanie. As we hugged them, I noticed a familiar strength and determination in their eyes. I’d seen this in the eyes of my wife and daughter just six years earlier when we lost our boy. Knowing it ourselves, we encouraged Lee’s family to hold fast to their faith. We’re confident they will rebuild their lives stronger and will continue the legacy of serving others with even more determination. Lee spent his life on a mission for a higher purpose and those closest to him can hold confidently to the knowledge that they’re only apart for a short time. They are certain of a joyful reunion.

I’ve struggled to understand when I first heard of the loss of my friend why I didn’t feel sad. I was certainly shocked, but strangely I wasn’t sorrowful. This isn’t something I’ve wanted to admit, but it’s important and I’ve really struggled to understand. All my life, I’ve heard it said at funerals, “They’re in a better place” but to be honest, I’ve harbored questions about it, considering it to be a nice thing to say in an awkward moment.

It’s been six years now since we had such a loss and each day in my mind, I’ve considered the question, especially losing a child: “When we die, do I really believe we go to Heaven?” Through these years of hurting and healing, our family has only survived one day at a time by drawing closer to faith, not as a crutch to lean on but rather as a foundation to stand. I can’t effectively convey to anyone how confident and strong God has confirmed that foundation and His answer to my question. Heaven is indeed more real even than this world.

In fact, my confidence in the reality of Heaven has become so strong that my first thought about my friend wasn’t sadness, but joy (and to be honest, a little envy). Lee had lived a life starving to give everything he had for the Kingdom which I now know to be a real place. When those two vehicles met on a rural Georgia highway, I visualize Lee barging into Heaven with his face radiating with more joy than he’d ever humanly imagined. The first words I bet he said? “I’m home! How can I help?” But the reply, I believe was something he’d wanted to hear and nourishment to his hungering heart: “Welcome Home, child. Your work is done my good and faithful servant”.

Trey, Ashley, grandbaby Jackson, Sherry, Stephanie, and Lee

I thank God for giving me the unexpected and undeserved gift of friends like the Sims family and the package deal of many like them in our world. We’re blessed by those who choose to serve as a reflection of Jesus to others who need to meet Him face to face. They help assure those of us who have been lost that when we leave here, there’s a far better Home awaiting.

Readers– We can make a difference in our world by giving all we have to someone in desperate need. The opportunities are endless and the return on such an investment can never be matched.

Prayer– God, thank You for the Lee’s in this world. Please take care of those who are left behind while temporarily separated by death and renew our hope of an unimaginable reunion. In Jesus’ name, amen.

“A generous person will prosper; whoever refreshes others will be refreshed.”
‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭11‬:‭25‬ ‭

“Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes.”
‭‭James‬ ‭4‬:‭14‬ ‭

““His master replied, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master’s happiness!’”
‭‭Matthew‬ ‭25‬:‭21‬

Fore-Giving

Mark Speed2 Comments

We all sometimes face perceived injustices or mistreatment by others. Our human nature is to appear unharmed while pridefully hoping for revenge. The Bible says we’re supposed to pray for our enemies and by so doing, we heap burning coals on their heads. Isn’t that just some kind of righteous revenge, though? I don’t know exactly what the coals are about, but hurting others can’t be what Jesus intended. Yes, we were probably done some injustice and momentarily it would feel satisfying to see the wrongdoer hurt, but would that jolt of justice bring about any good? Revenge only brings more damage. The Bible talks a lot about fire serving to heal or to cleanse. Maybe that’s where the “coals” come in? I really don’t know.

I have learned something too long misunderstood about Jesus’ teaching on forgiveness, though. This word always meant just moving on and living with the injury. Being hobbled by a low blow yet standing up as if healed. I’ve come to realize that healthy forgiving is about “fore”-giving… before (or in most instances, without) the wrongdoer asking for it. In time and with practice, we can learn to “give” these perceived wrongdoings to God. Justice is His job, not ours. His concern, and His perfect plan will attach any justice if owed. “Fore-giving” in such a way is a wise, healthy, and humble choice. Forgiving in this way certainly kills pride. And wasn’t it pride that was the problem all along?

One of my daily prayers is for full healing. Not just physical but mental, emotional, and spiritual healing. I’m finally learning that to forgive fully, the role of “justice enforcer” isn’t mine. This job has to be delegated to God. Didn’t Jesus show this kind of love to the world on the cross that bloody day when He died be-fore we were even conceived? He knew our sin would otherwise be unforgivable. Betrayed by his closest friends, falsely accused and executed, yet completely innocent, Jesus chose to sacrifice not only His pride, but his life for ME. With His final gasp for air, Jesus was begging fore-giveness for us! That’s so amazing and beyond our capacity.
Most of our perceived harms are minuscule by comparison. Still, what would our lives, our families, our marriages, our communities, and the world look like if our prayers were FOR our enemies rather than AGAINST them? Check the daily news. Our way certainly isn’t working. Maybe His Way is worth a try.

PRAYER: God, help us learn to forgive like You showed us through your Son. To love those who do wrong against us. Help us shift our motivation from prideful revenge into unselfish healing. As we lead our families and live out our lives, help us model this so those watching can follow by example and learn that we must be both “fore-GIVEN” AND “fore-GIVERS”. Amen

Time to Heal

Mark Speed3 Comments

For readers who missed our most recent post, we’ve decided to take a slightly different direction. The purpose of this blog remains unchanged, but since faith in God has sustained our family through one of life’s most difficult experiences, it’s important to begin sharing more from this perspective. We believe this change to be a “next phase” in God’s bigger plan, not only for our own healing but hopefully for others in need. Posts will always be as honest and transparent as possible and some will certainly be difficult to share. As always, our prayer is that someone who is feeling no hope might find some here.

Over the past few years, some have asked what we’ve learned about healing. Certainly, there are many ways to cope with trials but most of them are unproductive at best and at worst, unhealthy. Having tried several of these methods, I can promise they don’t heal anything. They only do more harm and dull the pain for awhile. I did find one sure solution though. I can’t think of one practice more helpful in the last few years that has better served towards peace, comfort, and personal growth than through daily conversations with God. After all, how can any relationship exist much less thrive without communication?

Some people roll out of bed onto their knees to pray. I can’t quite manage that but I do head straight for a quiet place with a cup of coffee and a devotional of some kind. Bible apps are a great way to get the process started and early morning is best before the day gets busy. When we lost our son, I was off work for several months and my company was gracious enough to allow this time. It afforded the luxury of days without distractions or obligations. Some days I spent hours but over the years, life resumed and free time began to wane. Today, this quiet time can still be a couple of hours, but it’s usually around 15-45 minutes. It does require determination, but I’ve come to realize the intentional investment of this time first thing in the morning has yielded a huge return. So much that it makes keeping this daily routine much easier.

At 5-6AM, a daily reminder on my phone pops up as, “Time with God”. Some time ago after reading and praying, I began writing several “Foundational Prayers”. These do apply to my own life but they’re also universal. Each day, I read one or two of them silently or aloud. Speaking words may seem strange or feel awkward, but it helps to keep focused. These foundational prayers have yet to fail in helping me so I’ve decided to begin sharing them. Maybe a reader who needs some peace may find a little of it through these prayers. I sincerely hope so.

A Prayer When Life is Out of Control

In the healing process, it brings peace to remove myself from daily situations which are beyond my ability to manage. First, I ask God for the wisdom to realize when I’m taking back control because this tends to happen subtly over time. Secondly, I ask Him take my place in whatever the circumstance may be. He never has failed once to provide instant peace when I acknowledge that I’m finally ready and wanting to surrender by saying (and meaning it), “Father, not my will, but Your will be done”. I hope you’ll try these suggestions because they will help you, I’m certain.

PRAYER: Heavenly Father, today we pray against the Enemy’s lies. Pride is the most effective weapon used to steal and destroy what You made us to be. We willingly surrender control to You. Please direct our steps in life’s trials. Make our lives reflect less of us and more of You. Amen

“Before daybreak the next morning, Jesus got up and went out to an isolated place to pray.” – Mark 1:35

“As the deer longs for streams of water, so I long for you, O God.”
‭‭Psalms‬ ‭42‬:‭1‬ ‭

Choosing Joy, Today

Mark Speed1 Comment

Today, we remember our son’s birthday 24 years ago. Days like this come with mixed emotions. Happy. Sorrowful. Joyful? Each morning I take some time to read and to pray, connecting with God and often talking in spirit with our son. A few years ago, my wife Cathy bought a decorative hanging which she placed on the wall in our bedroom. Until recently, I had walked right past it without noticing its message. It simply reads, “I Choose Joy”. Behind these three boldly printed words, a lighter shaded word is less visible… “Today“.

Every day we make hundreds of decisions, many without a conscious thought. When life becomes difficult, our emotional reactions typically include fear, anger, sadness, doubt, or protective pride. Unless we’re aware of this human-thinking process, these will remain our default choices.

God made the human brain unique by giving it free will and even the ability to think about how we think. No other created thing has this incredible ability, yet most of us fail to put it to good use. Instead, we repeat the unhealthy pattern of repeating negative thoughts over and over again. Those who have accepted Christ have a far better choice. We can choose to draw from our faith and to find hope in the midst of life’s most difficult circumstances.

In life and in my work, I’ve observed thousands of people dealing with loss, but not all of them handle it the same way. Many fall apart or become lost while a few seemed to come away even stronger. Those few, in my observations have seemed somehow MORE joyful. How is that even possible? I believe the difference is because they didn’t choose to pick up a crutch or take the exit door. Instead they chose to lean deeply into their reliance and faith in God’s promises. They chose to reframe life’s difficulties into faith-growing opportunities. You see, happiness and joy may have some similarities, but they’re vastly different.

Happiness is momentary and subject to ever-changing circumstances. Joy is constant. It resides firmly inside us like a solar battery, storing light for the inevitable times when the world seems darkest. Lasting joy comes from hope which lies in the things unseen by human eyes yet are eternal. God’s word tells us to “renew our minds” to think from His eternal perspective. Our lives are relatively brief, but heaven is our permanent home where no pain, no tears, and no death are even possible. Now, that’s real hope and real joy, but we have to choose it, every day.

PRAYER: Lord, as your children, let us not drift blindly through life by falling into default emotions of life here on earth. Today’s temporary grief, fears, anger, doubts, unforgiveness, and regrets are Satan’s intentional distractions because these emotions bring death and destruction rather than abundant life. Understanding our time here is precious and fleeting, may we learn to surrender to You by continuously CHOOSING to live in the joy You freely offer. Amen‬‬

“The Lord is my strength and shield. I trust him with all my heart. He helps me, and my heart is filled with joy. I burst out in songs of thanksgiving.”
‭‭Psalms‬ ‭28‬:‭7‬ ‭

“Always be full of joy in the Lord. I say it again—rejoice! Let everyone see that you are considerate in all you do. Remember, the Lord is coming soon.“
‭‭Philippians‬ ‭4‬:‭4‬-‭5‬ ‭

Our Father’s Focus

Mark Speed4 Comments
Focus a little longer and see what really matters.
Focus a little longer and see what really matters.

“Dad, the physical world and the eternal one are much closer than you think. One is seen with the eyes and the other with the heart. Keep searching for God with your heart and one day soon you’ll see Him with your eyes. I’ll see you then”. Love – Braden

A few weeks ago we heard a speaker at our church (Hope Fellowship) say something that wasn’t entirely new to me, but for some reason this time I couldn’t shake it from my mind. Paraphrasing, the speaker said that when God’s children make mistakes, He can’t see them. Instead of our sin, he sees His Son. Again, this wasn’t a new concept for me, but it never really sank in before hearing it this time. How could a perfect God not see the blatantly selfish choices we make? For most of my life I thought He certainly had to see mine.

After church that Sunday, we made our way to lunch where we often talk about what stood out during the message. I began to think about times I’d been angry and how I’d handled it with my own kids. Just a few months earlier, in the late evening, three boys began loudly knocking on our front door and ringing the doorbell. They had to be around the age of 14, and all talking at once. They told us a strange man had jumped his fence and begun to chase and yell at them. They were terrified with no place to go and sought the safety of even a stranger’s home. Having been a boy all my life, my first thought was they were out much too late for riding bikes, and I suspected most likely they had done something to cause the man to become angry. Again, that was my first impression.

They began telling their story and we learned they’d abandoned one bike in the street with a flat tire. One boy was crying and was clearly scared and ashamed. As they sat down, Cathy listened, helping to calm them. I first stood watching this all with impatience and irritation as she talked to them. I then noticed her focus had turned to the one who was most emotional. This scene began to feel familiar for some reason. I had suddenly realized it reminded me of the many nights she had patiently spent with our son, Braden.

Looking beyond what would have normally been my instinct to judge these boys for their perceived foolishness, I saw the face of our son and it completely shifted my perspective. My initial annoyance had become compassion. Instead of judgement, oddly I found myself understanding and offering them something to drink, telling them everything would be ok. Later, I helped them recover their broken bike and contacted one of their dads who arrived to take them home. I felt like they had likely received their own consequences as a result of their choices. Perhaps that night I had received an unexpected lesson of my own… to look a little deeper and beyond the mistakes people can make. After all, I’ve made more than my share and benefited from undeserved grace.

Have you ever seen a stereogram? Search this term online and you’ll find thousands of examples. They’re computer-generated graphics which initially appear to be an impressionist painting with nothing but blurred colors with no specific subject. However, if you relax your vision and try to eliminate the distraction of the initial impression, you will slowly begin to see the intended image of the picture come into focus. The subject not only becomes crystal clear, but three-dimensional. This process requires just a little effort and practice. It can feel a bit frustrating at first but once successful, it becomes much easier. I’ve come to believe this is the way God created the world. Amazing things are often right in front of our face yet much of the time we’re oblivious to them.

Losing a child uniquely alters a parent’s perspective. When I look around, I can now see my son in the faces of other kids who are struggling with things I can’t see or feel, yet it’s all too real for them. Today’s world is much different than the one most of us lived in as teens. There are new distractions, falsehoods, and temptations we never faced. They need our help. More specifically, they need a little more of our understanding and grace.

Most of our children’s poor choices are just baby steps towards who they are trying to become. Like it or not, our kids are naturally inclined to become like us, so modeling forgiveness and grace while we have them is one of the most valuable things they’ll take when they leave.

Prayer for dads

Of all the blessings in life, I’m most thankful for a relationship with my heavenly Father who filters sins through the lens of grace, love, and complete sacrifice. I pray that we as imperfect fathers will strive to follow His example for those children He has entrusted to us.

“God Himself made the way so you can have new life through Christ Jesus. God gave us Christ to be our wisdom. Christ made us right with God and set us apart for God and made us holy. Christ bought us with His blood and made us free from our sins.” – Corinthians 1:30

“For God chose to save us through our Lord Jesus Christ, not to pour out his anger on us.” – 1 Thessalonians‬ ‭5‬:‭9‬ ‭

Easter Saturdays

Mark Speed6 Comments

“Remain hopeful when your world seems darkest. When God created this dark world, He first provided light”. – Braden

My wife wrote the following story several years ago, and I often re-share it on Easter weekends. Only a mother could possibly fathom how Mary, who had heard her baby take his very first breath, must have felt while helplessly watching him take his last. Cathy posted this only months after such an experience when her life was in chaos and complete darkness. She saw no rationale for the loss of her son and hope was just a dim and fading light. Still, she remained hopeful. How is that even possible?

Reading her story each Easter is helpful to me. We now have benefit of time, healing, and hindsight. Over the last few years, we’ve begun seeing small hints of purpose in the wake of tragedy. I’m always amazed and inspired with her ability to remain faithful. She has been able serve others in similar circumstances and as an encouragement to our family through her steadfast faith and joy. Perhaps even today, such an example of faith may help someone else in need.

On Easter Saturday, Jesus was counted out. Defeated by this world. All alone in a cold and dark place, yet tomorrow He would arise. Hang on… HOPE IS ON THE WAY!

Easter weekend 2019 – Cathy Speed

Anyone who has ever met me knows this has been the hardest year of my life. And I’ve had some rough ones. Today I’ve been thinking a lot about Easter SATURDAY… The day nothing happened.

Before the big event that truly changed everything, there’s Saturday, when we prepare for Easter. We mow grass for egg hunts, easter outfits ready… dye the eggs… We celebrate Good Friday, the day Jesus was crucified and Easter Sunday, the death defying, grave defeating, hope and joy inspiring day of His resurrection. But Saturday is silent. And I will never again see Easter Saturday the same.

Never has Easter SATURDAY spoken to me like it does this year. It was the day when hope seemed lost. It was all over, and there was no reason to think anything would ever change. The disciples were alone. Everything they had believed in seemed lost and their souls were crushed. No answer seemed possible. The crowds had gone home.

The Saturday after Good Friday is the only day in over 2000 years that not one single person on earth believed that Jesus was alive. No one could understand God’s plan. This year, that day speaks loudly to me. While we wait to see what on earth God’s plan could possibly be. I’ve been an extremely unwilling participant in His plan this time. My plan seemed so much better. I’ve had quite a few arguments with Him. Loud ones.

Right now it’s still Saturday. Heaven feels so quiet. Why did there have to be a Saturday in between the day every hope and dream seemed crushed, and the joy and answers God had planned? It’s hard to figure out what to even do on Saturday, hard to hold onto the belief that God has to have a plan. But if Jesus could be found in a grave on Saturday, If He could literally be found in hell itself, is there anywhere that I can’t find Him?

So I CHOOSE today to trust God’s promise that “weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning”. Even though I don’t like this plan I’ve had to live, I will choose to believe our “Sunday” is on the way. And know that His work on the cross was finished, but His plan for me is not.

“…weeping may last through the night, but joy comes in the morning.” – Psalms 30:5