“Our Father created us for relationship. Help people understand how vital they are to God and to one another.” – Braden

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The Mom-Daughter getaway wasn’t on our family calendar because Caitlin had planned it as a birthday surprise a few weeks ago. These involve the standard girl activities with spa treatments, dinner, a chick-flick binge on Netflix, and overnight at a local hotel. Cait’s been excited, but I admit feeling some guilty pleasure upon hearing it was happening this weekend. After a busy few weeks at work, it would be good to have some peace and quiet. In moderation, I think being alone can be a healthy thing. For me, it might be the rare chance to do some mindless movie binging of my own, watching shows my girls don’t care to see.

Speaking of binge TV watching, my brother put me onto a series called “Alone” where contestants are flown into Alaska or some other remote location where they’re left to live alone with no one to help them. The show awards the winner a huge money prize for out-surviving the others. The producers only provide the most basic starter supplies and then leave the person in complete isolation. Each contestant is required to film and self-document their stay which can last a few weeks or several months. At any point, they can opt out by calling it quits which means they leave the show with nothing, but can return to civilization. The filmed vignettes are later compiled and edited to entice the viewer. If “bingable” is a word, this show fits the definition. It can be difficult to watch yet almost impossible not to watch.

Each person applies their own approach to surviving the harsh elements and without exception all begin their challenge with great confidence they, alone will outlast the others by relying solely upon their own abilities, strength, experience level, and intellect. Each person’s journey is certainly interesting, but one story stood out to me.

It was a father whose son was autistic. As this father’s personal story developed, I kept putting myself in his boots. We learn that his goal from the outset wasn’t to gain glory by winning the contest, but rather to get the funds needed to best help his child. As the weeks become months, the man outperforms the others and sustains very well physically. Then he begins to grasp what he’d been missing all along. Even more than money, his son needed his father. In the end, he finally learns that their relationship was far more valuable than money or anything else. Although it wasn’t shown, when the son saw his father finally arriving home, I can only imagine their reunion.

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Recently, our local school held a district-wide event called the “Hope Walk”. Students from every school from elementary through high school joined together for a rally around a program called Hope Squad. No matter where you may live, if you parent a school student, work in a school, or have concern about school culture but haven’t heard about Hope Squad, you should. This is a uniquely impactful peer-to-peer program. It came to our district through the efforts of parents of children who we’ve lost and by the willingness of district leaders who are determined to proactively help stem the growing crisis of mental health in our youth.

When I woke that Saturday before the Hope Walk event, Caitlin was sick so Cathy had to stay home. I hesitated to go but something told me it was important. Honestly, I didn’t look forward to seeing the bright eyed and thriving teens. I tend to superimpose Braden’s face on theirs which brings a too familiar sting. Still, somehow I owed it to our son to be there in support of such a good thing. When I saw those teens that day, it was through different eyes. This time, they weren’t crying from grief, but with joy and sincere gratitude to God for delivering on His promise.

When I arrived at the football stadium that morning, I had been prepared to walk alone, but during the opening presentation, I noticed a neighbor standing nearby who was attending along with their two young kids. Later, I learned one had been elected to the Hope Squad in his school. Years prior, this family had accepted our invitation to walk with us for a similar community event and this time, they invited me to walk with theirs. It was amazing to see the turn out that morning but especially confirming to observe and to hear stories about how this program continues to benefit other kids. I think Braden may have actually been walking alongside me that morning, but if he was too busy in heaven, I am certain he would approve!

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Learning about Relationship: We’ve learned a few very important lessons along our walk through this journey. Maybe these can be put to good use as parents and as people. Here are just a few of the big ones:

1) We ALL feel alone at times which is a normal part of being human. Being alone can be healthy, but isolation over time begins to rob us of what God intends. We can lose our way without others to walk with and to help us navigate life.

2) A healthy balance is important but finding, forming, and maintaining relationships with others (even just one) is a crucial piece in the puzzle of what is impacting today’s mental health crisis.

3) Since relationship is key, there is no suitable substitute for a personal and intimate relationship with God through His son, Jesus Christ. He visited this world purposefully modeling the importance of relationship and by inviting us to know Him. He promised that if, instead of trying life alone, we choose to follow Him, we’ll find the only way to real and lasting truth. Most importantly, He will provide all the nourishment we need to have an abundant life.

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“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” John 13:34-35

“A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity.” Proverbs 17:17