We all sometimes face perceived injustices or mistreatment by others. Our human nature is to appear unharmed while pridefully hoping for revenge. The Bible says we’re supposed to pray for our enemies and by so doing, we heap burning coals on their heads. Isn’t that just some kind of righteous revenge, though? I don’t know exactly what the coals are about, but hurting others can’t be what Jesus intended. Yes, we were probably done some injustice and momentarily it would feel satisfying to see the wrongdoer hurt, but would that jolt of justice bring about any good? Revenge only brings more damage. The Bible talks a lot about fire serving to heal or to cleanse. Maybe that’s where the “coals” come in? I really don’t know.

I have learned something too long misunderstood about Jesus’ teaching on forgiveness, though. This word always meant just moving on and living with the injury. Being hobbled by a low blow yet standing up as if healed. I’ve come to realize that healthy forgiving is about “fore”-giving… before (or in most instances, without) the wrongdoer asking for it. In time and with practice, we can learn to “give” these perceived wrongdoings to God. Justice is His job, not ours. His concern, and His perfect plan will attach any justice if owed. “Fore-giving” in such a way is a wise, healthy, and humble choice. Forgiving in this way certainly kills pride. And wasn’t it pride that was the problem all along?

One of my daily prayers is for full healing. Not just physical but mental, emotional, and spiritual healing. I’m finally learning that to forgive fully, the role of “justice enforcer” isn’t mine. This job has to be delegated to God. Didn’t Jesus show this kind of love to the world on the cross that bloody day when He died be-fore we were even conceived? He knew our sin would otherwise be unforgivable. Betrayed by his closest friends, falsely accused and executed, yet completely innocent, Jesus chose to sacrifice not only His pride, but his life for ME. With His final gasp for air, Jesus was begging fore-giveness for us! That’s so amazing and beyond our capacity.
Most of our perceived harms are minuscule by comparison. Still, what would our lives, our families, our marriages, our communities, and the world look like if our prayers were FOR our enemies rather than AGAINST them? Check the daily news. Our way certainly isn’t working. Maybe His Way is worth a try.

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PRAYER: God, help us learn to forgive like You showed us through your Son. To love those who do wrong against us. Help us shift our motivation from prideful revenge into unselfish healing. As we lead our families and live out our lives, help us model this so those watching can follow by example and learn that we must be both “fore-GIVEN” AND “fore-GIVERS”. Amen